


Risk to Take

by Tarlan



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Angst, Community: mcsheplets, Episode Related, Episode: s02e15 The Tower, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-13
Updated: 2011-08-13
Packaged: 2017-10-22 14:23:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/238990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tarlan/pseuds/Tarlan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John knew that starting up the star drive might kill Rodney, but it was a risk he had to take.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Risk to Take

**Author's Note:**

> Written for **mcsheplets** prompt #98 Season 2

John glanced across at Carson as Rodney explained the one flaw in his plan. Firing up the star drive could shake the whole city to pieces, with the already unstable catacombs--as Mara called them--far more likely to collapse on top of Rodney. This was the reason why he had tried not to get too emotionally involved with Rodney, aware that one day he might have to give an order that would result in Rodney's death.

That day had come.

He thought of Teyla and Ronon, standing ready to fight and die in the village. He thought of all the men, women and children in that village who wouldn't stand a chance against a drone attack. This whole thing was his mistake. He had believed in Otho's lies and given him the one thing he craved above all else: power. Without the gene therapy, Otho was a nobody, barely clinging onto his high position purely because he knew too many secrets and could read the blood lines. Carson had given Otho the gene therapy and it should not have surprised anyone that it had taken. After all, it was simply a matter of genetics. Like Rodney, Otho's bloodline had been too diluted and the gene, although present, had become recessive over the generations of _poor breeding_. The gene therapy had simply switched it back on, making it dominant once more. In fact, many of those who responded to the mouse-gene--as John liked to call it purely to annoy Rodney--ended up with a stronger version than those who'd had it switched on from birth. It was the reason why Rodney's ATA gene was stronger than Carson's, though John had always prided himself on the fact that his gene was stronger than anyone else's, except possibly O'Neill's.

Still the fact was that he had offered the gene therapy to Otho with the knowledge that there was a greater than 50% chance that it would take, believing that Otho wanted to see a change in the way they treated the villagers. Instead, Otho had revealed his true colors. He had always had designs on the _The Chair of the Lord Protector_ , and allowing Tavius to rule had simply been a stopgap measure until he had produced offspring with Mara, in the hope that her stronger bloodline would strengthen his weaker lineage.

Now he no longer needed Tavius or Mara. He could rule in his own right as the strongest bloodline for generations.

The choice came down to Rodney or the lives of all those villagers, Ronon and Teyla.

"That's a risk we're gonna have to take."

He felt the vibrations, feeling sick at heart. As the room shook around him, all he could think of was Rodney and the way he had looked last time they fucked. He recalled the feel of Rodney's strong arms holding his legs back, the bead of sweat that had dripped from Rodney's forehead to splatter on John's chest as Rodney pushed in further, harder, faster.

John snapped out of the memory, taking advantage of the panic to overpower the guards before heading straight for the gate room with Carson and Mara a few steps behind. By the time he arrived, the ZPM had used the last dregs of power and the vibrations had stopped, leaving John to deal with Otho and his poisonous dagger.

With Otho dead, John turned his attention back to the one person he cared about above all others. "Rodney? Rodney, come in."

"Here!"

He closed his eyes as relief swept through him. "You okay?"

"No. I'm trapped down here with just one torch."

"Just...hang on and we'll get you out of there."

It was easier said than done, requiring a team of engineers from Atlantis, but eventually he heard Rodney complaining moments before he was winched up from below. The frown dropped from Rodney's dirty face the moment he saw John.

"They have drones. Hundreds of drones!"

John couldn't help but smile back because a grinning Rodney was infectious to him, but he also felt a little smug. "They have jumpers too."

Rodney's eyes went big and round, his mouth opening into an awed 'O' that was far too reminiscent of the orgasmic look he gained when he came deep inside John's body. The urge to pull him close and kiss him hot and hard was almost overpowering so John was grateful for the distraction of Teyla and Ronon arriving with Eldred.

****

Back in Atlantis, John made his way from the balcony after sharing the news with Elizabeth. It made a change to come back with something more useful than flax seed and tava beans. They had replaced the two lost jumpers and gained a few more on top, plus now they had a large supply of drones to help defend them against the next Wraith attack. Rodney was ecstatic.

He had enjoyed the banter with Elizabeth but he often wondered if she knew the true reason for why he had turned down the girl--Mara--and the position of Lord Protector. He wondered if she suspected that he and Rodney were more than just friends, more even than just fuck-buddies.

When he entered his quarters he was surprised to find Rodney sitting on his bed, waiting for him, having thought Rodney would be too interested in his new toys.

"Hey," he murmured, but the relief of seeing Rodney warred with the knowledge that he had given him an order that might have killed him.

Rodney pushed up to standing and walked towards him, strangely silent. He stopped before John and one corner of his mouth lifted in a familiar, twisted smile. Rodney reached out and pressed his hand against John's chest, staring hard at him for a moment before his lips twisted even more and he rolled his eyes affectionately. His fingers clawed into the cotton of John's t-shirt and dragged him forward into a kiss that was both soft and yet firm, affirmation and forgiveness, and John sank into it willingly, gratefully. When they parted, he took the lead, and Rodney allowed him, letting John touch and caress, letting him ease Rodney out of his clothes and onto the bed.

Later, as they rested easily, loose-limbed and sated, the guilt of his order to start the star drive came back full force. Yet it was not the order itself but the knowledge that he would give that same order tomorrow if the situation called for it. Yet, what he felt for Rodney was deeper than simple caring, and growing deeper with each passing day. Perhaps it was even love.

His greatest fear was that, one day, he would put Rodney's life before all other considerations, even before Atlantis itself, and yet he could not give up what they had together. He could not give up Rodney even though he knew he might one day end up betraying all he believed in just to save the man lying in his arms but that was a risk he had to take.

John whispered, "I'm sorry."

He wondered if Rodney understood that he was not apologizing for today but for that possible future where the guilt of putting Rodney first would tear them both apart.

He felt a brush of lips against his throat. "I know."

END


End file.
